A Sweet Escape

friends-in-fall

“Maybe our girl friends are our soul mates, and boys are just people to have fun with.”

I think any true Colorado native would say that there is a tangible shift in the air this time of year. Something changes with the colors of the leaves as we pack away our summer shorts and pull out warmer layers. It’s this shift from the lightheartedness of summer, to something a little earthier- heartier, and full of anticipation for the colder months to come.

I also think it’s rare this time of year to not to talk to someone who is dying to escape to the mountains. To breathe in the fresh fall air and hear the crunch of dying leaves under their feet.

fall-leaves

Running away to the mountains for a fall weekend has been one of my favorite things for the past few years, but this year something felt different.

Two years ago my girlfriends and I had another weekend escape, in another mountain town with the same highway views and Colorado sky. But this time we weren’t carrying the same burdens we were a few years ago; weighed down by not-quite-right relationships, family secrets and the stress of a new season of life that was riddled with self-doubt and uncertainty.

This year we were four women recently out of significant relationships, and pursuing something new; in by no means a gracious way, but offering each other the space to figure it out the only ways we know how.

fall-and-doughnuts

doughnut-eyes

We wandered between fire-colored trees and crisp fall air. We ate sausage pizza loaded with tart green peppers and sweet onions, and the best buttery garlic sauce. We had one too many bottles (yes bottles) of wine and ventured into steaming hot springs under the starriest night sky.

I saw shooting stars and while I made a few wishes, I couldn’t help but look up and think of how full my heart and life felt.

How grateful I was that I was surrounded by people that bring so much joy, honesty and laughter into my life.

How humbled I felt to be able to look around this tiny circle of women and be able to look them in the eye and know that they’re on my team no matter what.

friends-at-a-pumpkin-patch mountain-fall

It’s as though seeing the leaves change was enough to finally realize how much in our own lives have changed. That just like the leaves we’ve had to let something beautiful and good fade away to make room for something new and fresh, no matter how brilliantly colored it is.  A reminder that sometimes we need to let go of something good in order to grab onto something extraordinary. Let something die to make room for something new.

I was told a long time ago that a true friend sees you though, but doesn’t see through you. They let you make mistakes, and instead of judging you for the choices you’ve made, they hold you up and redirect you to something better. Something more life giving and full.

I don’t know how to be single. I don’t know how to be someone’s ex. How to honor something that was such a big part of my life for so long, but move forward because it ultimately wasn’t quite right.

None of us know the right answer. How to graciously wade through new waters, but we’re willing to try and hold each other up until we figure it out, or at least get into shallow water.

overlooking-waterfall viewing-fall fun-fall-friend-photoshoot

“So let ME be your grace, and YOU be mine.

Let me be your mirror when you need to see your beauty, and you can be my humility when I lose sight of what’s right.

Let me be the leaves that burst into color as a yearly reminder that we must shed the weight of what is no longer brining us life, to make room for something new.

Let me be your mountaintop that you shout dreams off of, and you can be the gentle quiet that catches my whispered fears and failures.

Let me be the laughter that spills from one more glass of wine. And the starry night sky that reminds you of your existence and humanity.

Let me be your sweet escape, and your friendship can be mine.”

Thank you friends for a weekend away that brought me back to reality.

You. Are. My. People.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *